They came and left.........

On 16th of June 2006, Bella brought 5 pups to this world but unfortunately, but quite expectedly, 2 of them left. Well we diagnosed that Bella had a miscarriage so techinically only 1 came to this world of surprises... The latter left me with a few breaths and some hope...
yet, the fragility of life hit me hard. So many random and unrelated things ran through my head. My late grandpa was first, then came the idea of the possiblities of preserving the babies in some chemical. "Where should we bury them?" It was such a strange feeling. I feel like i murdered the two due to a lack of experience. When the nurse asked," do you want the pup to go through a cremation?" My heart ached and i was numbed by her words. Was there really nothing else they could do besides offering that service? Has the pup really left us"?

Kenny replied calmly to the nurse. We wanted to bury him with his prematured sister. Somewhat we seemed to have a premonition that a burial service was going to occur. Last week at this same time, we brought the dogs to Miramar Lake. A very peaceful and untouched place, the dogs (musco and pluto) had great fun swimming in it. We could not find a better spot than where we took the dogs for a swim. so that was it, we buried the 2 pups right by the slope. On a gentle slpoe with no obstruction, this spot overlooks the entire lake. At this time of the day, the lake was intensely calm. The water looked just like a canvas of crystals catching and grabbing my attention. That instance, all i could think was....the fengshui is perfect here.

ARTWALK and POINT LOMA SEAFOOD....

we started off the day looking forward to get a taste of what Point loma Seafood Market Place has to offer. Highly recommended by Rachael Ray on Foodnetwork, I was hoping to experience some amazing seafood. Upon arriving at this new town, I was filled with excitement. A laid back and relaxing atmosphere.....touristy mood....: ) Point loma is obviously an affluent town yet it was unpretentious and surprisingly friendly too. We stopped about 4 times ask for directions and the people we met were really friendly.

I ordered a fish plate while Na had a crabcake plate. We could not resist the temptation and ended up ordering a crab salad and a cup of red clam chowder. It was a take-out kinda concept so we got to indulge our food by the habor and enjoy the breeze. Food wasnt as good as I thought it would be. i will give it a 7/10. That summed up by short but sweet experience at Point Loma but im sure i will be back.

ARTWALK is an annual event held at Little Italy in Downtown San Diego. The walk was truly an Artsy one. the congregation of these art folks displaying their artistic talents and feeling proud about it was very inspiring. Stretched across 2 blocks, the walk was really a walk. I ended up getting 6 blisters. Endless booths of artworks mainly paintings and occasionally some sculptors, It was truly an Art walk. Definitely not one of those fairs that are filled with advertisers or insurance agents. I love the vibe of Little Italy. Pubs were packed with people enjoying live music. I was craving over the different abstract works and couldn't stop thinking about how nice it would be if i could display my work too.

Till then,
sl

The cheesecake that looks better under dim light and has to be snapped without flash otherwise......Recipe from Emeril, the cake turned out pretty tasty but the presentation is atrocious. We had a simple yet awakening early birthday celebration for Na. Hope he enjoyed it.  

Flowers brighten up my day and these flowers were from Na. From Poway's farmers market. Every weekend we go to a different market/street fair! It's a great chance to visit the different neighborhoods and experience the different landscape. These are my fav flowers. i know them as wax flowers. Arent they pretty?  

Vitamins sealed with a HEART....

This is part of our daily diet and Na customizes it by completing it with a heart shape. How sweet......

2 oranges
1 carrot
1 green apple
1 red apple

Fantabulous recipe of LOVE!

Can u scrutinize and decipher?

There is simply so much going on in my mind at this point of time. tomorrow will be my 3rd week being a tax specialist. Such a lack of passion...I feel bad facing my manager and co-workers. Passion is totally out of the question but i work real hard but that's maybe because i feel so bad and almost embarassed. After my first week, I was thinking of quiting. A great sense of guilt pounced all over me.

I am feeling all the more unsure of what I want in life. Emotions get intertwined and everything seems less clear, less certain. More confusing yet more constant. I ask myself who can scrutinize my life more than myself. And the more I ask myself, the more unsure I am.

I slowly settled down as a senior tax specialist ( that's what I was labeled the first day of work) By default..... Everyone is the department is a senior. It's hilarious. On my right sits katie. She is a ballon of joy and fun yet she is definitely the queen of procrastination. 9am and just 1 hour into work, she will be telling all of us how much she wants to go home and sleep. I got so used to it, I kinda look forward to her complaints everyday. However, she has a cute personality. Helpful gal. Then there is Alina...My first impression of her is....Wah...she is a punk! Coincidentally, she dates a thai boy too...hahaha...I met some nice people at work but somehow, i think i'm putting in enough efforts to break this mountain of ice of mine. They tried talking to me but I think I;m holding back because I'm refraining from putting in any emotions. I think this is again related to how unsure i am of what is next.

I want to write alot more about work but I'm tired. 7.30 am is what time i start. 5.30 is what time i crawl out of that seducive bed of mind.

nite!

shar: An Exclamation of delight or discontent!

shar: An Exclamation of delight or discontent!

The Job Search....

so much tension...Just like the red beans in th pot....Alas, it's almost over! It has been a rough week. Interviews, surprises, anxiety, tension, frustration.......yet it has also been one of my best week. On Wednesday, I was offered a position on the spot. This is a super interesting position and the are offering me to start a sales department within the company. Alot of excitement yet alot of uncertainty because the company doesn't seem to have a defined position for me. I negotiated for my compensation and was really happy that they are willing to accept the conditions but at the same time i was very skeptical. Too good to be true? They appeared very sincere and I could feel it. What's exciting was they are planning to start a gay directory and magazine cos there isnt one in SD. It was like a dream come true. I have always wanted to do marketing communication and sales. Sadly, i'm still not sure....Another interview the same morning! A tax company filled offering me a tax specialist position. I was very shock when the interviewer asked me if im the artist on minigallery. So they did their research. Unfortunately, my minigllery will officially shut down today. It's a pity that it was taken away from me so abruptly. Just in case my memory gets wiped out, the minigallery was filled with some beautiful memories of summer 2005....It was the most enjoyable and relaxed time i had in madison with Na. He was extremely stressed out by summer lab while i painted my days away. Occasional or rather frequent visits to Michael's and UBS to buy my art supplies and getting the website set up for relatives and friends to view. It was an awesome experience and whilst having my own mini gallery, a lady from York appreciated my work and wish that i could collaborate with her for a charity org, Campfed. I donated "is it, it?"

I wish i can do it once again.

What i have been watching...

}The two dogs in case of accidents.....Bella is always the suspect!

}The time....
}Monster, Careerbuilder, jobing, SanDiego Signon etc. (This is a pain in the ass)

}Food Network ( esp. Barefoote contesta....She is so easy to follow, she looks like my mum and I love her kitchen)

}E! simply for nuahing on the sofa...I like "The girl next door" For what reasons, I dunno but i find it so entertaining. These hardly clothed girlfirends, this industry, playmates, etc.
} Home and Garden TV ( sometimes i wonder what do i want to do with my life? I seem to be so domesticated, or rather enjoying such channels just makes me wonder and ask myself)

}my NOK, PFE, TIF stocks and KKD (krispy kreme) The biggest loser.... I love these donuts but not their stocks.

} CNN can be entertaining too. Reporters try to inject humor and that makes me laugh real hard. And when they found out Dick tunes in to FOX, they said, " wow, thats v nice to know" come on, why do u care? it's just Dick....

It's 2.11pm and Na is on his way home. I prepared a pot of love: fresh crab legs, prawns (not so fresh; frozen ones from chinese), and lotsa veg and a bottle of Chardonnay to wrap it up. I hope he likes it. The Phyllo attempt again...I made little pockets of phyllo with garlic, topped with crab leg and asparagus.

And finally, this 3 course Lunch cum tea snack ends with a Jamie Oliver 2 nuts choc cake. I thought this sounds like something Nut will enjoy. (his best buddy his calls him NUT)

A Phyllo disaster

After watching Foodnetwork, the very adventurous me decided to make banana purse. made a trip to Ralphs and got some Phyllo pastry, bananas, and other ingredients for The Pot of Love! (a welcome back dish for Na).

Alas! Those phyllo sheets arent that friendly. As a first-time user, i broke 20 sheets the minute i opened it. I decided to carefully read over the instructions which i seldom. And then i read the recipe: Puff pastry!!!!!!! oh no....so i needed puff instead of phyllo! So i did a quick search and found out that they are cousins and can be used interchangeably. Phew... There i found out a lil about phyllo which means leaf in Greek! And i found out i can only use it after it thaws. I have no clue what state should that be. These sheets are darn thin. Malaka, i followed instructions, threw in the bananas and maple syrup n strawberries. Ok it turned out so bad, it felt like a pimple right in the middle of my face. I'm glad to be all alone. such a failure. Thank god the maple syrup made things better. Musco and Bella were pretty excited, not knowing how awful it was. I almost wanted to toss it into their bowl.